1 Nephi 6

1 Nephi 6: 4, 5

For the fullness of mine intent is that I may persuade men to come unto the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and be saved.

Wherefore, the things the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world.

The first of these two verses was one of the first scriptures I had memorized on my mission. I guess I thought it was a good summary of my purpose as a missionary. But now that I am a wannabe writer (meaning that I want to be a writer), I find a somewhat different application to my life. These scriptures lead me to ask "What is my intent?" Why do I want to be a writer? Why am I writing this blog right now? Am I writing this just so all the pretty girls who are looking at my Facebook page (because so many pretty girls look at my Facebook page) will follow the link to this blog and be impressed with my "spirituality" and want to date/marry me? I sure hope not. I would hope that I am not only writing things that are pleasing to God, but writing them with an intent to please him. But personally I find the battle for pure intent to be an ongoing one.

It is the same battle I must fight whenever I give a talk, or teach a lesson, or bear my testimony, or even if I am just making comments in Sunday school. What is my intent? Why do I want to give an insightful well planned talk or lesson? Is it to help people feel the spirit and come unto Christ or is it to impress people in my ward. I always have this voice inside that says things like, you're such a genius, you are so insightful, you are such a good public speaker, you're talk is going to be good and everyone will love you because of your abilities, everyone will be so impressed. And so when I give talks I find myself praying more for humility than for guidance on the topic. Because I know that God doesn't need a genius, he doesn't someone insightful, and he doesn't need good public speakers (but if everyone in the church would at least try to improve those skills it wouldn't hurt).

Doctrine and Covenants 64:34

Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; and the willing and obedient shall eat the good of the land of Zion in these last days.

The lord requireth the heart. I'm sure that most of us have heard the idea that the Lord doesn't choose the qualified, he qualifies the chosen. I have a testimony that it is the spirit that will lead men to come to Christ, not me or my words. And I know that when I write this blog, when I give a lesson, when I make comments in Sunday school, if I am prideful, or if I am seeking my own glory then I will not have the spirit. Nephi said the "fullness" of his intent was to persuade men to come to God. That leaves no room for desires for the praise of men, or as is slightly more applicable to me, women (even if it's the praise of the good men and women of the church). And so the battle continues to purify my desires and fully give my heart to the Lord. It's a great and silent work of introspection and "feeling". Searching my heart diligently for the answer to the question "Why am I doing this REALLY?" Is it for my glory or His. And then praying that God might help me do good things for the right reason.